Follow up from Clomid Round 2

My Newest Project & $500 Cash Giveaway

Fitness is a huge part of my family's daily routine and actually what I got my Bachelors of Science in Kinesiology from Temple University. So I am very excited to be launching Fit Familia: Health & Fitness by Sassy Smidgens which is a new extension of my Etsy shop blog, Sassy Smidgens.

Fit Familia will feature lots of information on exercises, exercise regressions and progressions, mini routines, healthy recipes, green smoothies, Shakeology, Beachbody Challenges and support, as I have been invited to become a Beachbody Coach.

So please stop in frequently to see all the new topics that come about.

To mark the occasion I have joined with a number of my blogging and small business friends and our awesome coordinator Giveaway Promote.

Welcome to the $500 Sweet September Cash Giveaway!

We have joined forces with a fantastic group of bloggers to bring you this great giveaway. One lucky person will win $500 cash.

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Enter to win $500 cash via PayPal.

Complete the tasks below to earn entries into this giveaway.

Refer your friends using your unique link to earn even more chances to win.

Open Worldwide.

Ends at 11:59pm ET on September 16th, 2014.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

This giveaway was coordinated by Giveaway Promote.
If you love entering giveaways, visit Giveaway Promote to find the greatest giveaways listed in one place.

Good luck!!

Follow up from Clomid Round 1

Yup. As suspected that first round was not successful. It was so bad that I didn't ovulate at all. :( This was particularly disappointing because I have a had a regular cycles for months. 

Luckily, I have wonderful support group of family and friends. Many who reached out to me after last week's post with wonderful words of encouragement and stories from their own experiences trying to get pregnant and being unsuccessful. Thank you all, you know who you are. It means a lot to me and I really needed it.

So, we're onto round 2. I just finished the doses yesterday and will be meeting with my doctor on Monday for blood work and ultrasound (to see if I'm ovulating yet). Fingers crossed!!

On a different note, I've been listening a little more closely to my heart for guidance on this matter. For those of you whom have never had complications getting pregnant you don't know how expensive it can be. We all know that IVF is VERY expensive costing tens of thousands of dollars but oral medications like Clomid aren't a drop in the bucket. 

My husband has excellent insurance and we still pay a lot....$30 copay x 2 visits, $45 medication, $140 internal ultrasound, and $155 in blood work. Yikes!! $400 per failed attempt! That's a car payment!

It hurts to think that I'm adding this burden to my family just to conceive again. Am I being selfish? Am I being impatient? Should I stop going to my endocrinologist and seek help from other less expensive professionals? I ask myself these questions frequently. I don't pray often but I have been praying on this topic and looking for guidance. It's funny who subtle He can be.

I was just tidying up the house putting beach bags from our last trip away. I reached into a pocket to check for anything that needed to be put away and pulled out Aaron's aunt Dorthy's business card. 

Dorthy has been helping women like me with difficulty conceiving for decades. She has offered at numerous family get togethers to help me if I'd like. You may be thinking, "Well silly why don't you just call her already?!"

Well, she works within the Catholic church and I have very strong fundamental differences such as lgbt rights and contraceptive rights. So, to avoid heated conversations or debates, I've gone kept by distance.

However, God may have other plans for me and now may be the time to reach out to her for help. I'm not the tidiest person. Clutter is diffidently something that struggle with. That bag has been sitting there for weeks and I haven't used during visits to our NY family and Dorthy for months. I wonder why I didn't notice it in there the last time I used the bag? Hmm.

On an interested side note, my mom just visited a psychic the other day and during her sessions she was told that the new grandchild would be born by my brother next year. :( I believe in psychics and still know there are fakes out there. So, I was pretty deflated when I heard this news. I am also curious if that means I will not conceive until next year or that I won't be able to maintain a pregnancy (meaning I'll miscarry). THAT would be even more devastating. 

So, I continue to pray on it and look for the signs. 

Happy Sunday and have a good week.

Name for NEW comfort doll program

Hey there! Happy Monday. I hope everyone is having a good start to their week. Well, I'm working on something new here at Sassy Smidgens and am in need of some feedback.

 So, those for those of you who don't know, my husband Aaron works for the federal government. When Eva was young he traveled 40% of the year, which was pretty hard on her and tore me apart to watch. Luckily he doesn't travel as much now but it really had me thinking about a number of friends of mine whose husbands are away on active duty and how it may be effecting their kids.

After praying and thinking about it for a while I decided I wanted to try and do something to help. As you may have seen I've started making soldier dolls. My first purpose for making them is because many of my mommy friends are raising their kids non gender-conforming and have said they will let their boys play with dolls if they want to. Being that it is hard to find boy or dark skinned dolls, I wanted to try making them. I've gotten great feedback so far and am ready to start planning the
program.

The way the program will work is that for every doll I sell I will gift a doll to a military child whose parent(s) is/are deployed. The doll will be made custom for them so that it looks like their parents.

I've brain stormed a few names so far and would really appreciate your input. It's only 8 questions and is super quick to answer.


Click here to participate: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/K39WWGY


Thanks and  take care!

Jealousy in trying for #2

Jealousy in Trying for #2

Babies. Babies. Babies. It's that time of year again. It seems like everyone is giving birth to baby number two...and in some cases number 3. How do I know? It's all over Facebook. With 700+ friends I've collected over the years, its easy to follow along and see where everyone is at in their life.

When everyone graduated college at the time you're "supposed to" I saw them all with their cap and gowns on Facebook. When everyone got engaged it was all over Facebook. Wedding day...Facebook. Pregnancy updates...Facebook. The birth of the baby #1..Facebook.

You would think I'd be used to it, but it never seems to go away...jealously. One of life's big lessons. Not everyone gets to check off their life events the way they thought they would growing up.

I wasn't able to go and graduate from college until I was an adult. But at least I did it, right?! Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty damn proud (pardon my language). Just last year to be exact. The second person on both sides on family in two generations. But not having done it "when you're supposed to" caused me to experience it differently. Not like most people.

Engagement? Yup, I was lucky enough to have a beautiful "Bachelorette-style" engagement in Mexico. However, it lasted a whole 3 days before my shot gun wedding. Yup. We got pregnant first...which has pretty much killed any hope of having my white dress day. So, I didn't get that "bride" experience that so many of my peers get.

Even though I haven't and will never have that experience...I'm sorry but renewals are just not the same...I wouldn't have it any other way if it meant I wouldn't have my daughter, Eva.

Being a woman with PCOS, the gift of  becoming a mother is one of the most precious things in life. If you ask me, giving birth and become a parent is the meaning of life itself, but I digress...

I've been telling myself for the last 2.5 years that my heart of full and satisfied and if I'm never able to have another child I'm just fine...because I have my Eva. She's beautiful, funny, caring and (right now at least) my little shadow. There isn't much we don't do together.

Until right now I really believed that. I really thought trying again and being unsuccessful wouldn't phase me. That giving birth to my own flesh and blood had fullfilled that burning, innate desire of mine. I was wrong.

With my first pregnancy I had been on Metformin for just over a year when I got pregnant with Eva. We weren't trying hard. Just pulled the goalie and had me taking my meds. We really let God tell us when it was time.

So, why is it so hard this time? All those insecurities and worries of not getting pregnant are flooding back. Why can't I just be happy for everyone else and content with my life? Even without having those big life moments I am very blessed and better off than many people in my town, in my country...in the world. Why do I have to feel this way? Why am I jealous?

I'm a simple woman. I don't have a huge list of "wants" or "needs". Look at my closet. The only new clothes I get are hand-me-downs from my sister-in-law who loves to shop. I don't shop. I don't have retail credit cards. I don't even have an iPod for music. Why pay for it when I can listen to iHeart Radio for free?

Even with make-up I haven't replenished my  Bare Essentials I bought in '09 except for my cheap Cover Girl mascara. Jewelry? I don't really wear it. Just my engagement ring, some ring I pass off as my wedding band just so my over sized ring doesn't fall off my finger and the same stud earrings that were used to re-pierce my ears back in high school when one of my holes closed up from not wearing anything too long.

So, why can't I feel this content as a mother? Why do I have to feel like I'm missing out again?

Every time I start to feel that way again I hear God whisper in my ear , "Look around. Your life is full. You are a SAHM...despite me declaring before kids I did NOT want to be one. Beautiful house. Loving and loyal husband. Don't worry." and I feel better.

But still it returns. Jealousy. It's so nasty. One of the first emotions we learn as a child and yet the hardest to overcome.

Here we go again

Now we're trying for #2. Nine unsuccessful months so far. We tried 8 of them without any help from my doctors. This month I started my first cycle of Clomid. God was telling me to go see my doctor. It's funny how He does that. A little whisper in you ear. That's all it is but it can be so important. When I showed up for my appointment I was at the exact day in my cycle that I should have been to start taking the meds.

Within a week's time I was taking my meds, had my 2-day window the doc told us to "make a deposit"...that's our phrase for "making the magic"...and had my follow-up to confirm I was ovulating. Yup. Either ovulating during my office visit or just slightly after. Pretty crazy.

Now, we're playing the waiting game. It's been 38 days since my last period. Sunday we returned from vacation and I took a pregnancy test. Negative.

I spotted over vaca and have spotted this week. I just don't know what is going on in my body. Tuesday I have an appointment for blood work and ultrasound. So now we wait and pray.

3 Words...FLASH FABRIC SALE!!!

Wahoo! I little birdie just told me there's a flash sale going on at Craftsy. 

Better head over and stock up for all your Valentine's gift projects!