Yup. As suspected that first round was not successful. It was so bad that I didn't ovulate at all. :( This was particularly disappointing because I have a had a regular cycles for months.
Luckily, I have wonderful support group of family and friends. Many who reached out to me after last week's post with wonderful words of encouragement and stories from their own experiences trying to get pregnant and being unsuccessful. Thank you all, you know who you are. It means a lot to me and I really needed it.
So, we're onto round 2. I just finished the doses yesterday and will be meeting with my doctor on Monday for blood work and ultrasound (to see if I'm ovulating yet). Fingers crossed!!
On a different note, I've been listening a little more closely to my heart for guidance on this matter. For those of you whom have never had complications getting pregnant you don't know how expensive it can be. We all know that IVF is VERY expensive costing tens of thousands of dollars but oral medications like Clomid aren't a drop in the bucket.
My husband has excellent insurance and we still pay a lot....$30 copay x 2 visits, $45 medication, $140 internal ultrasound, and $155 in blood work. Yikes!! $400 per failed attempt! That's a car payment!
It hurts to think that I'm adding this burden to my family just to conceive again. Am I being selfish? Am I being impatient? Should I stop going to my endocrinologist and seek help from other less expensive professionals? I ask myself these questions frequently. I don't pray often but I have been praying on this topic and looking for guidance. It's funny who subtle He can be.
I was just tidying up the house putting beach bags from our last trip away. I reached into a pocket to check for anything that needed to be put away and pulled out Aaron's aunt Dorthy's business card.
Dorthy has been helping women like me with difficulty conceiving for decades. She has offered at numerous family get togethers to help me if I'd like. You may be thinking, "Well silly why don't you just call her already?!"
Well, she works within the Catholic church and I have very strong fundamental differences such as lgbt rights and contraceptive rights. So, to avoid heated conversations or debates, I've gone kept by distance.
However, God may have other plans for me and now may be the time to reach out to her for help. I'm not the tidiest person. Clutter is diffidently something that struggle with. That bag has been sitting there for weeks and I haven't used during visits to our NY family and Dorthy for months. I wonder why I didn't notice it in there the last time I used the bag? Hmm.
On an interested side note, my mom just visited a psychic the other day and during her sessions she was told that the new grandchild would be born by my brother next year. :( I believe in psychics and still know there are fakes out there. So, I was pretty deflated when I heard this news. I am also curious if that means I will not conceive until next year or that I won't be able to maintain a pregnancy (meaning I'll miscarry). THAT would be even more devastating.
So, I continue to pray on it and look for the signs.
Happy Sunday and have a good week.
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